Below are links to almost every piece of my writing that is somewhere out on the internet.
Seven Days, Vermont’s independent newspaper
T-Shirt Boutique Solid Threads Finds a Home in Vermont
McSweeney’s
How Can They Sleep at Night? Vignettes From the Trump Era
List: Seven Bathrooms Near His Apartment to Poop In
List: The Perks of Working From Home
List: 7 Questions for the Man on the Metro Who Wants to See Me Smile
Why I Wait Until the Third Date to Have Sex and Also Take This Paper Bag Off My Head
My Husband Died and Now His Ghost Wants Anal
Thrillist
Signs Your Low Expectations Left You Dating Someone Terrible
I Followed a Stranger on Twitter, 3 Years Later We Are in Love
The Only Sex Advice Men Need About Women
Reductress
I Started A Gratitude Journal But It Became A Food Tracker
Awkward Girl Most Comfortable Talking About How Awkward She Is
How To Lie On Your Bed In A Sexy Way And Not Because You’re Paralyzed With Anxiety
Five Scents That Still Won’t Cover Up Your BO, Sorry
Group Halloween Costumes You Don’t Have Enough Friends For
Woman Worried Relationship Not Hayride Ready
5 Up-and-Coming Cities to Move to After You Sleep With Your Roommate
6 Morning Workout Classes Your Roommate Would Never Sleep Through
5 Paneras That Will Calm Your Mom’s Fears About Your Neighborhood
6 Nail Polished to Complement Your Bleeding Cuticles
6 Masters Degrees to Get While You Wait For Him To Text Back
7 Trends Men Hate, So Why The Fuck Are You Still Wearing Them?
Eyebrow Products to Draw On Emotion, You Sociopath
How To Feel Full On Just Your Birth Control
5 Kissing Techniques To Show Him You’ve Totally Moved On
How To Hide Vegetables In Your Meal And That Meal From Yourself
Sexy Foreplay You Can’t Try Because You Live With Your Parents
Pie Crusts Flakier Than Your Terrible Friend Susan
How To Hide Your Pregnancy Even Though The Fact That You Aren’t Drinking Is A Dead Giveaway
5 Salads You Can Eat Just The Cheese Out Of
How To Pet His Dog And His Penis
I‘m Reading In The Break Room, Someone Come Look At Me
The Rumpus
Fall Activities Adjusted For Global Warming
The Belladonna Comedy
9 Types of People You Will See This Winter
4 Freshwater Lakes to Drink Before Determining You’re Actually Hungry
Other He-Trends Inspired By Man Rompers
The Cooper Review
Business Jargon to Mumble When Your Boss Makes a Sexist Comment
Runt of the Web
How to Take Constructive Criticism So Well People Start Giving It Constantly
Work Stress Starting to Get In The Way of Personal Stress
I Couldn’t Fix My Boyfriend So I Fixed My Bike and Rode That Instead
When I See a Baby I Well Up With Happiness Because It’s Not Mine
Woman Has Never Felt Love Like This For The Third Time
I Paid For Experiences Not Things And Now I’ve Seen A Lot Of Sunsets But Don’t Own Forks
How I Stopped Eating Sugar Except At Restaurants and Work And Friends’ Houses
Wow! This Woman Loves Her Body Even Though It’s Every Man’s Dream
Man Has Gross Fetish For Very Available Women
Why Nothing Can Define Me Except This Very Obvious Tattoo That Says “Bad Bitch”
But Have You Seen My Collection of Plastic Bags?
Fun Blue Cocktail Ends With Less-Fun Blue Vomit
Woman Begins 12th Year of Watching The Bachelorette Ironically
6 Tips For Growing Your Hair So Long People Will Think You Were Homeschooled
Donald Trump Celebrates Pride Month By Pardoning One Queer Kid From His Administration’s Homopohobia
Anonymous Bathroom Sex Not As Good As Recently Divorced Mom Remembered
Why I’m Okay With My Dull, Domestic Life and Billionaire Husband
Skinny Friend Thinks You’re Beautiful Just The Way You Are
Culturally Aware Man Harasses Women of All Races
Woman Scared By Shadow Of Her Former Self Meaning Six More Weeks Of Winter
The Stacker
100 Best Western films of all time, according to critics
All Oscar-nominated films from worst to first
Critics’ Choice award nominees by the numbers
Dog breeds with the most timeless popularity