Vegetarian Shepherd’s Pie

My latest binge-watching pursuit is Cutthroat Kitchen, a show similar to Chopped in which contestants sabotage each other and say things like “His fondue looks more like a fon-don’t.” There are cooks attempting to act and Alton Brown being aggressively smarmy, give them an Emmy! In an episode of Season 1 the contestants were challenged to make Shepherd’s Pie. As if I had fallen into a food-centric Pensieve I was hurtled back to my childhood kitchen, circa 2002, dinnertime.

My family is gathered around the table for a quintessential Garfinkel meal: a layer of beef, a layer of vegetable, and a layer of instant mashed potatoes baked in a 9 by 13 glass pan. Where did this authentic recipe come from? Perhaps it was passed down on my father’s side, brought over from Ukraine with my Jewish great-great-grandmother as she escaped Nazi pursuit. Or maybe this traditional meal was established on my mother’s side, her ancestors traveling from Germany to the United States with bags of frozen peas on their backs.

While my culinary heritage remains a mystery, for now I will try to turn this Northern New Jersey classic, Shepherd’s Pie, into vegetarian comfort food.

Ingredients for the potato layer:

  • 4 russet potatoes
  • 2 tablespoons of butter
  • 2 tablespoons of sour cream
  • 1/2 cup of half and half

Ingredients for the meat layer:

  • 1 onion
  • 1 clove of garlic
  • 8 ounces of shiitake mushrooms
  • 1 tablespoon of soy sauce
  • 1 tablespoon of tomato paste
  • 1 package of your favorite vegetarian meat crumbles
  • 3 cups of unsalted vegetable broth
  • 1 tablespoon of flour
  • 2 cups of frozen corn, peas, and carrots

Ingredients for ever and always:

  • Salt and pepper

I peeled my potatoes, chopped them into similar sized chunks, and threw them into a pot of boiling water. They need to cook until fork tender, about fifteen to twenty minutes.

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My blog’s namesake, and perhaps my future child’s?

As my potatoes boiled I started the meat layer. I cooked down an onion and a clove of garlic in some olive oil, seasoning with salt and pepper, and then added chopped shiitake mushrooms. A variety of mushrooms would probably work with this dish, or you could omit them all together. I love mushrooms and really think you should give them a chance even after that time they forgot to pick your sister up from the airport.

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“Sorry babe, I got swept up in Cutthroat Kitchen.”

Once the shiitakes were cooked thoroughly, I added the tomato paste, soy sauce and half of the vegetable broth. I made a rue by whisking a tablespoon of flour into a separate bowl of broth and then added it to the mushrooms to thicken the sauce. If you are feeling overworked, just quit here and eat potatoes with gravy.

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Do not blend this: If you do it will turn grey and your sister will say it looks like feces #Thanksgiving2015

For the meat crumbles I used Boca veggie crumbles. I prefer Morningstar, but this is what was available. Like any good cook, I go food shopping immediately prior to preparing a meal and make do with exactly what I can find.

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It never feels good to be the second choice

I poured the crumbles into the gravy and covered them with the remaining vegetable broth. You want to add enough broth to hydrate the meat with some sauce left over After the meat defrosted I added in the corn, peas, and carrots. The choice of vegetables is up to you, but corn, peas, and carrots are colorful and come in one convenient package.

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Frozen vegetables are like my ex-boyfriend: cheap, boring, and bagged in the back of my freezer

Once the potatoes were cooked and out of the water it was time to to mash them. You can make them as healthy as you’d like, but I decided to go big, adding butter, sour cream, and half and half. Okay I’m lying, I used straight-up cream but was too embarrassed to list it in the ingredients. Just prepare the potatoes to your liking.

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I liked my mashed potatoes like I like my men: rich

With both of the components ready, I built the pie.

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You may be thinking to yourself that this blue baking pan is too small to hold all of the stew; you are correct. I currently do not own a family-sized pan, so I’ll be bringing the remaining unbaked Shepherd’s Pie to work for lunch. I think a 9 by 13 pan would be best suited for this amount of ingredients.

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Be careful to get the meat to potatoes ratio correct, I think my dish came out a bit potato-heavy. I put the pie in the oven at 350 degrees for about thirty minutes. Once out of the oven, I garnished it with my appropriately-sized parsley.

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Parsley for the childless and unwed

To be honest, by the time the Shepherd’s Pie was even in the oven I had already eaten a ton of mashed potatoes and meat stew and was incredibly full. Sometimes you’re tasting for seasoning and sometimes you’re tasting for tasting. At least I know it’s good.

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I can’t even look at you.

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Enjoy!

4 Comments

  1. Um, I think the source of our families shepherd’s pie recipe is much more mundane; I ate it for lunch at the school cafe and like it. Original recipe probably came from the Joy of Cooking though mashing potatoes became too time consuming. Also, we had more then one instance where the potatoes turned into some kind of alien vomit. We riced the potatoes for awhile, which always worked out. Then your uncle Jim clued us into Ore-Ida frozen mashed potatoes, which were good and unadulterated. Now you can’t find them, only potatoes fried salted and plasticized.
    Next time you cook email me a taste.

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